You Don’t Understand Me

"You don't understand me!"

It's a teenagers' favorite accusation when talking to their parents. What happens when we "grow up" and become adults in the business world? Do we ever still feel like people don't understand us? Whose fault is that?

If you're the talker, it's your responsibility to make sure the listener understands. On the other hand, if you are the listener, then the responsibility falls upon you. It's actually a fifty-fifty process but the irony is 100% of the responsibility is on both people.

For the moment, let's talk about listeners. Listening is an art. The first thing you need to do is to tune the world out. Don't let your mind wander. Don't start thinking of your response until you know that you fully understand the talker.

Make eye contact. And, by the way, you can only look into one eye at a time. I know people talk about looking into someone's eyes. But, if you try to look into both eyes at once you will give them a cross-eyed stare and probably get dizzy. Focus on one eye.

Be aware of your body language. Don't crowd someone or get too casual. Also, don't be too formal and stiff. Relax and smile and let them talk.

Give positive feedback if you understand what they are saying. Nod your head. Respond verbally with phrases like, "I see," "I understand," "I understand how you must feel." Feedback goes a long way toward meeting your 100% responsibility. Stop and ask for clarification if you don't understand. 

Try these tips and you'll find that talkers will respond much better to you when you change roles and you are the talker and they are the listener.


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People do business with people that they know, like, and trust. Since we can’t pick or choose the “type” of person we are most likely to trust and like right away, we need to learn how to effectively with everyone’s personality style.” Learn how in this report and start increasing your sales right away!

Selling To The Four Personality Types

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